you made me feel better for now. it still hurts. but for now, im okay. thank you

"We're miles and miles apart, but I'll save a big hug for you when you come home." "When can I claim it?" "Anytime, anywhere. I'm yours."

-kilroy

Do you know that I brought your jersey with back with me. You told me to take good care of it, I am. Its safe with me. The only shirt that I brought with me back. This feeling hurts.

I wish for you to be with me on that day.

tu me manques beaucoup, je t'aime

random

cukup aku minta
satu hari nanti kamu sedar
cukup cuma aku
yang tulus terima compang camping kamu

21/12

Do I want to make a bunch of people worry the hell about me just because one person doesn't?

Lying down on this empty space
Every single thought makes my heart race
The wind suddenly stays on a halt
Everything seems to freeze showing me faults
What did I do to be in this parade
Giving me heartaches and showering me with hates
God please help me in this change of heart
As I seek forgiveness from you for everything from the start

astaghfirullahhala'zim, to the-Almighty I seek for forgiveness.

'tu me manques beaucoup'

Had a talk with hanan and i think what she said is true. I want to stop being miserable, and do my things for me. Not for anyone else. Oh and learn to get myself back on track. I will wait for you, I know I will. Just that for now, I'll just go with the flow. Im here whatever it is.

all i want for Christmas is you vb. just you. somehow i just wish that youre reading all this somehow but i know youre not. im not opening my heart to anyone else, its still yours no matter what. je t'aime

UNTITLED

again, when you miss someone too much. depressed. full stop

23rd

I've booked my flight ticket on the 23rd. If I can its you that I wanna meet as soon as Im back in kl. Well thats just me, I dont even know whether you want to meet me or not. I wish you well. Goodnight handsome. Kisses on your forehead.

MORNING

Good morning handsome. Thank you for your text. Even just a tad short, it meant the world to me knowing that you have arrived safely. Please take care. Je t'aime

Ya Allah, I'm not strong. Please take good care of him. I just wish I can ask him how is he today. Do you know that I'm breaking here? Je t'aime

YOU

My fever keeps coming back. Do you know that I'm lacking in m y studies, that I cant focus at all anymore. Where are you at times like this? I really miss you. For the thousandth times I'm saying that I miss you. What more can I say. I miss those kisses on my forehead, I miss my 'morning sweetheart', I miss hearing your voice everyday, I miss you. Just you. Everything about you. This feels like shit.

PRAY

I can only pray that you'll know what you need in life again. and in between that prayer, I will take just a little space, hoping that it is me that you will need once again amongst others. I am here hurting. Just please. Come back. I'm hurt. I wish you well handsome.

SIGH

I miss him. Cant he tell. I miss him. Hurt.

RANDOM

Talking to the moon. What if the moon is the only thing we have in common now? Are you crying or are you having fun without me? Those words linger in my head like melody on staccato. Short but seems like never ending. What if the moon is the only thing we share now? Are you laying on the grass reminiscing us or are you fast asleep thinking about nothing? Silence is the loudest cry for a lady, you can surely know she's deeply hurt when she starts ignoring you. Flabbergasted? Well. I think that woman is me. Just the way you are? Do you still love me the way that word flowed from your mouth once? I can wait even waiting seems like the hardest thing to do. Do you know how I wish you were here? I woke up feeling dead, like a grenade exploded out of nowhere. How I wish I can be next to you, the tingles that I felt every time you're around make me feel right at this moment, it is all just a dream. I can only thank The Almighty when that memory came on a halt, straight to my face saying "You found me", from the lips of an angel. I will always wait for you. I promised.

DAMN

I may be good in getting myself busy but I'm bad in getting myself busy without thinking of you. Damn.

A DROP IN THE OCEAN

A drop in the ocean,
A change in the weather,
I was praying that you and me might end up together.
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,
But I'm holding you closer than most,
'Cause you are my heaven.
You are my heaven.

WHY?

You came in a sudden halt. What am i supposed to feel or even think. Do you think everything is easy? I want to understand you, I really do, but now the question is will you do the same? Will you walk away again and leave me in the middle of nowhere? Silence. I loved too much and now pain is the consequence. Im being miserable at my best. Je t'aime

11/12

I am wishing myself a happy anniversary, because, somehow i just wish you remembered how important yesterday was for me. I wish you well.

MIRACLE

How are you today
I hope you're okay
How I miss hearing your voice
But this is not my choice
I am hurting cant you tell
Well just remember I still love you-
and I wish you well

p/s: checking on my phone hoping for miracle. it stood dead. i miss you

random

Silence is a girl's loudest cry. You can always tell she's really hurt when she starts ignoring you.

empty
is that what you wish to see
waiting
is that what you want from this human being
confused
is that what i should feel or if i'm just being used

i am waiting, i promised.

PAIN

"I dont know how i feel. I need some time alone to figure out what i want. I just need to be on my own."

" I curled up in a big armchair, squeezed into the very corner, hugging my knees very tight and stared at the wall with big drippy tears squeezing themselves out of my eyes and rolling down my cheeks until everything around me felt like a puddle of salt water"....

...." I wanted him to suffer by seeing how much he'd made me suffer. I wanted him to hurt as much as i was hurting"....

...." I didnt cry after i woke up, I think I just felt dead. A bit like life wasnt really worth carrying on with"

-straight talking, jane green

its a novel but its close to my heart. i wont stop loving him. its him that im confused about.

NOW

What more do you want to hear from me?
Is there anything you wish to see?
A joke? A laugh? A smile? A cry?
A scream? A song? A lullaby?

See I know we are not who we were
I live in denial, remember?
So please don't ask me to open my eyes
Don't wanna wake up and realize

The honeymoon's over
That i should better be
mature

I'm sorry I do not know what to say
Do understand I'm breaking, but hey
When you tell me that you are leaving
Don't think I did not see it coming

See, of course I saw we no longer
Having stuff we enjoy together
But can we play along our part
And not parade this change of heart?

Are you really sure
That we're off better
And over?

What more can I say when you wish to leave today
I wont break down and burst
but--
Would you like to have one last breakfast?

-fynn jamal

p/s: my treasure chest is suddenly empty. what am I left with?