In the process of mending an organ called heart

20/3/2012

Waking up with an arch upon my lips,
Though the pain you left still lingers in me,
Telling myself that memories can be reap,
Well my path in life is still far to be explored abstemiously.

Reasons to be broken sometimes align with the reasons He gave to lift ourselves back up. Just believe.

What do I do when all I feel is numb. Dont shut me out this weekend. Please

She'll never tell him, but he is her little scar.

Guys can be so sweet but so cruel too!

if only I knew what we are now. I sure know it is not goodbye. but what if?

damn

you were back. but now you're gone again

fynn jamal - suatu pernah

habis sudah madah;
tak ada satu pun yang tertinggal,
setiapnya telah—
kau ambil dan terus kau jual.

seolah tak pernah memakna apa,
seolah tak pernah kau inginkannya,
seolah—
tak pernah...

dikutipku bila sudi,
di bila tidak, dibiar mati,
dan lebih menyakitkan—
ku tetap tunggu di tepi jalan.

seperti tak pernah ku ada harga,
seperti tak pernah kita bersama,
seperti tak pernah kau mahu aku,
--tak pernah rindu
--tak pernah rayu
--dulu.

terleburhancur kebal rusukku;
berkecaisepai, terpecahbelah,
terima kasih atas ajarmu—
--cinta tak wujud
--ah, tak pernah.

dan dengarkan jeritku;
jujur tak terfitnah,
kau hanya bagiku—
suatu yang pernah.

takkan ada apa—
yang mampu untuk buat kau pulang,
bila sudah tiada rasa—
bikinlah apa, tetap kau terbang.

takkanku pujuk kau jangan pergi,
takkan ku minta kau fikir lagi,
takkan ku paksa renung semula,
takkan ku suruh apa2.

takkan ku izin tubuh dibuka,
takkan ku pamer reput di dada,
takkan ku rebah,
takkan ku goyah,
takkan ku biar tubuh didarah.

hairrrrrrr -.-

I want my long hair back. . . . . . . . . .

Random

All we have left is broken promises and broken hearts. If I had known this was the end, I'm not sure I would have wanted to start.

Your words are nothing but lies. Each one of you.

please let me be strong ya Allah. Only You know how I feel right now. It has been 3 months but it still hurts every time I think of him.

He doesn't have a single idea how much I'm missing him right now. Its okay, slowly Fatin, slowly. .

Studies are much tougher lately, need to increase my momentum in everything. and I miss KL badly!


:(
p/s: i just wanna go home

blue paradise

i performed and yeah it was something to be remembered :)

just cause

If life separates us, and we end up totally in different parts of the world, I'd remember this path when we are aligned together, and be thankful for it. And I hope, wherever you are at that time, you would be thankful too. I have loved you with all my heart. Its just that God has better plans for us maybe, who knows, one day. Miracle could happen if you have loved sincerely and dearly.

Yes I do think of you. A lot. But its okay. My love is there, but I'm getting better coping up with myself. What you said before maybe it is true. Don't worry. You are always in my prayers. Even if you don't do the same. I remembered what Hana and I talked about the other day at Maya, 'they don't know how it feels like. Its okay, when they do, they will understand why we are still holding on'. :)

Read

Just bought these books:

1) Without Mercy by Lisa Jackson
2)Edge by Jeffery Deaver
3)The Manuscript by Michael Stephen Fuchs
4)The Almond Blossom by Chris Stewart
5)Spiral by Joseph Geary
6)Suspects by David Thomson
7)Dirty Sally by Michael Simon
8)Looking Good Dead by Peter James
9)The Smile Of The Lamb by David Grossman
10)Murphy's Law by Bateman
11)Dead Men's Dust by Matt Hilton
12)Coma by Alex Garland
13)The Postcard Killers by James Patterson & Liza Marklund

cant stop smiling now with all these books in hand :)

sonrisa

I sang my heart out just now. Sir gave me the honour to perform as a solo lead vocal for an upcoming performance here in college. Battle of The Band 2012. Hoping for the best :) oh yeah, I'll be singing Killing Me Softly which is one of my favourite song so I'm overjoyed by it.

Alhamdulillah, I feel better today.

When one door closes, another 10 opens. Only He knows how grateful I am for His blessings.

Trying

I can never truly understand how in the world can I be in so much pain because of you. A wakeup call from my dad made me realize something really big from another perspective. I am trying my very best to make it all work for me.

If it is meant to be, it is meant to be.

InsyaAllah I'll find that happiness one day. It does hurt now, only He knows how much it hurts.

Ya Allah, please guide me. Give me the strength to endure all this pain. Flabbergasted how people seem to write prayers instead of holding both hands up praying to him, no? Well, lets just say its another way of expressing and writing leads to many unspoken words and feelings for oneself. He is The Greatest and He knows everything that we don't. He listens, even how long we may have forgotten His presence.

I am still learning. Allahuakhbar.