FEEL

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

-Judy Garland-

A crush is the path to a secret heartache
-Gina-

Believe me, when you found that special someone,
You'll think of him 24/7,
Believe me, when you found that special someone,
You'll smell his perfume no matter where,
Believe me, when you found that special someone,
His voice can cure all diseases,
Believe me, when you found that special someone,
His imperfections that makes him perfect,
Believe me, when you found that special someone,
Nothing else matters.

For the time being, my family and friends are all that matters to me. And for the special someone, I'm still waiting :) haha

Wishing you a great love life, try to understand the people around you better,
You'll never know, maybe, one day the one that you call friend will end up being your BESTFRIEND for eternity, InsyaAllah. God is great, believe me! Heartaches are just one of the steps to become a better you :) agree?

KAWAN

cherish them all, them; friends

NOW

I heard a voice,
I searched and searched,
I felt the presence,
Who are you?

I saw a glimpse,
I looked around,
There's only a shadow of a broken sign,
Who are you?

Melody,
Going through my head like a person jailed,
Locked up,
Who are you?

I threw a piece of the broken glass at your image,
It hurts,
Why?
Who are you?

I put the mixed pieces together,
It formed a picture,
Well i don't know who,
For that moment..

But I surely do now,
Its you,
The missing piece of me that I've been looking for.

Yes! you, love

it hurts because you're apart of me, i feel what you feel, i listen to a song that only you and i understand and i love you for that honey

RANDOM

Kalau hati punya mulut,

Pasti diteriak ke kamu,

'Aku parah, kamu luka aku tak pinta'

Kalau mata boleh berkata-kata,

Pasti diteriak ke kamu,

'Cukup, jangan biar aku lihat kamu'

Kalau telinga boleh meluah,

Pasti diteriak ke kamu,

'Mati, jangan aku dengar lagi dari kamu'

Persetankan semua kalau perlu,

Biar kamu menanah tak terjaga,

Rasa apa itu perit,

Tapi itu kalau..

everything i didnt say to you, everything that i didnt tell you

back.

been gone from blogging for a while ayte?

netball- we won 3rd place (under 18) and 1st place for the under 15 team

sports day- pauline won first place!

me- tak tahu kenapa ada orang sibuk nak ambik tahu pasal my own life yang tak best mana pun ni and make a scene about about it. come on lah, kau tak ada kerja lain ke? family sendiri pun kau ta reti nak jaga nak ambik tahu pasal aku kenapa sayang? i know that i am not perfect either but tadelah pulak aku sibuk hal kau kan? so, stay away from my life boleh? i'm saying this in a nice way. tolong faham, dah besar kan? boleh fikir. buat.

-and to that particular person, i know you've been reading my blog and entah macam mana boleh sampai pun ta tahu lah. and FOR YOUR INFO, this is my blog so its up to me to write whatever i want. Jangan nak cari gaduh, jangan nak terasa. Think about what you did to your own family. Baru boleh bising pasal aku, ok woman?

put your damn effing self in my shoes, my life, my tragedies and i bet you wont survive. alhamdulillah, God really gave me strength to face all this and i know there are reasons for all of it

HengSze Kay, Fatin Rosman :P

babe, i curi all pictures from you :) you know i love you unta!

HECTIC!

*everyday schedule

7.20-9.30: school (classes as usual)

9.30-3.00: netball training

6.00-10.00: tuition

11.00-12.00: homeworks and studies. lots of things to catch up!

12.00-2.00: INSOMNIAC!!

its getting really hectic. i'm damn tired. i'm so pissed off. i'm done.

today

-fever
-tired
-my knees are killing me
-my muscles are aching
-not in the mood
-i think i can just start cursing people any minute now
-and most of all, **** dont tell me all those "you can trust me" words when you know you are such an ass who only 'pretends' you are listening but not even bother to care about what you are listening . ouh, btw, backstab la lagi banyak banyak sebab rasa dia mmg best kan?

DUSHHHH

worth waking up for

Izzatul Najwa Radzwan:

"Girlfriend bila nak dating boyfriend lagi? Rindu cemerlang dekat girlfriend"

Still remember that text? Hahaha, I know we are the most weirdest best friend ever but always remember that I wont leave you. We do have arguments sometimes but I think we understand each other better ayte?

Rabiatul Athirah Aziz:

MSN

rabie: weyh

me: ye, apa? apa kes?

rabie: aku sayang kau
ILOVEYOU

me: kau ni kenapa? salah makan ke?

rabie: saja je. nak bagitahu aku sayang kau.

me: yeye, ILOVEYOUMORE. I know.

you are the bestest listener ever. Dont ever leave me.

Heng Sze Kay:

Often I will be the one who will say iloveyou but i know you love me too without you even saying it. right? You better or I'll bite. uh, that sound so wrong. haha. I know, I am in my sengal-ness mood sze kay.

Nasha Amirah Azali:

partner "balik". You've been there through thick and thin, ups and downs. Theres nothing more i can say, only THANK YOU! 10 years already babe. like you always say "buat ilek suda". haha

NurKhalisah Burhanuddin:

my sleepover babe. we've known each other almost 9 years and still counting. Thanks for all those fun moments you gave.

Riza Nursyazween:

"i dont want to break up with you ever!"

Remember that? I told you everything right sayang? I will always be here for you, you are my craziest friend ever. iloveyou

Irdina Insyirah Zainal Abidin:

"of course i'll be here if you need me. Just a phone call away ok? Anything you need you can always count on me bby. Take all the time you want"

Its been 10 years and still going strong :)

Izzati Aisyah Adnan:

We've been very emotional these few nights kan? Its ok, your secrets are safe with me honey. I hope mine too. You are the loudest among all, still, without it you're not complete :)

these are the friends which are worth waking up for, worth to be loved

Random

I miss your annoying laughter,
I miss your annoying behavior,
I miss the way you took care of me when I'm sick,
I miss the time when you will take my cardigan and wore it as if its yours,
I miss your early messages,
The messages that will surely wake me up each time,
I miss your child like behavior when you are around me,
I miss the moments when you will text me and say
"tune on hitz. fm now, its our song. i miss you"
I miss to sketch our moments,
To picture our crazy-ness,
Melodise our conversations,
Now there is no you and me anymore,
My sketchbook are often blank,
My albums are full of torn images,
Melody? often silence turns out to be so freakingly loud,
and most of all,
I MISS HAVING YOU AROUND.

p/s: baby it's fact -hello goodbye-

still?

firstly, this is from sze kay's blog. since she said that i would surely dig this, so here. hahaha. i copied it. since i'm in my "jiwang-ness" mood.

Tuhanku
seandainya telah Kau
takdirkan dia milikku, tercipta buatku
dekatkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
tetapkanlah kemesraan antara kami
agar kebahagiaan ini kekal abadi
dan tuhanku
seiringkanlah kami mengharungi hidup luas ini
ke tepian yang sejahtera
tetapi tuhanku yang maha pengasih
seandainya telah Kau takdirkan
dia bukan milikku
bawalah dia jauh dari pandanganku
luput dari ingatan ku
dan peliharakanlah aku daripada kecewa
serta tuhanku yang maha mengerti
berilah aku kekuatan
melontar bayangannya ke dada langit
hilang bersama senja merah
dan gelap pekat awan
agar aku bisa bahagia walau tanpa dirinya
dan tuhanku yang maha pencipta
gantilah yang telah hilang
tumbuhkanlah kembali yang telah patah
meskipun tidak sama dengan dirinya
biar sekuat mana pun aku menyintai dirinya
aku pohon agar tuhanku
melenyapkan perasaan ini
sekiranya dia ditakdirkan bukan milikku
tetapi
sekiranya dia ditakdirkan untuk ku
kupohon agar takdir
memperkuatkan kasihku padanya, selagi tidak melebihi
kasih ku pada-MU
amin

there it goes. credits to heng sze kay.

p/s: i'm sure you guys know how this feels ayte :) no matter how much you say that you moved on, deep down inside, we are all the same

sama-sama?

(baba, mama, along, adik)

When will this be possible? maybe when I'm not in reality.

F: along, mama dekat PD

A: tau, mama ada call..

F: baba dekat Perak

A: huhu..

F: adik dekat Klang

F: nak awak, rinduu awak. tapi awak jauh.

A: aku kat Melaka.

A: taw takpe. satu Malaysia ada.

baba? he got his own family to take care off now.

mama? she got her own definition of life that she needs to settle.

along? he's busy with his piling photography works + university (bila dia study, i dont even know)

wan? she got me. cucu yang paling sayang dia. although i always do things on my own and sometimes ter IGNORE dia. She will always be my *sayang*

me? aku ada siapa? well, i still have my sketch book and my guitar.

conclusion? i am grateful to GOD for giving me this family. Alhamdulillah. Kadang-kadang susah tapi itu tanda DIA sayang umat dia yang seorang ni kan. Tengok? i have two mums, 3 instants siblings :) you dont have them kan?

p/s: appreciate everything around you, theres reasons why HE gave them to you. Though sometimes it hurts.

go away and don't come back

Please let the memories fade away, it hurts so much.

Why?

empty

i feel that there's an empty space inside of me wanting to be filled.
but.
the thing which gonna fills it is somewhere out there.
when and where?
i don't know. for the time being, i'm EMPTY

p/s: i dont know, will the pain in my heart ever go away?

why is it always my fault??

hye hye. i'm back

well, have you ever felt that everything that you do are always bad from other people's views?

me? hell yeah!!

-why did you bring your sports bag?
-i thought you are going for your extra curricular?
-now you are good at lying huh??

isn't netball and extra curricular the same. heshh!!

people alert!!** i am sixteen years old?**
i am mature enough and please remember that im not a little kid anymore.
i'll accept if people want to scold me or what but please..

DON'T HIT ME OR SLAP OR WHATEVER THAT INCLUDES BODY PARTS

i will understand if you tell me nicely. please. i am begging you. it hurts!

these words hurts me most
-why are you so stupid?
-you are stupid like your dad
-you think you are so great if you are in sports just like your dad
-you think i am afraid of you?
-i hate to see your face?

SO WHAT IF IM INTO SPORTS?
SO WHAT IF I GOT MY FATHERS GENES?
SO WHAT IF I REMINDS YOU OF BABA?

it is not my fault at all :(

p/s: i know i resembles baba alot but it is not my fault

MONEY!

where's the school things that u wanted to buy?

i didn't make it. i was in a rush at recess time, i've got some school work to pass up.

you dont try to lie to me. you've used it to buy something else ryte? i knew it.

...(shocked)

NO! i did have works that i need to finish up. plus, the co-op is like damn small and there's like 40 kids in it. how am i suppose to buy it.

you dont try to lie to me fatin.

I AM NOT LYING!!

(yesterday night)

where's your ipod touch?

its in my room, why?

(this morning)

....(banging on the door)

where's your ipod touch?

its on the bed, why?

where is it? show me now. i knew that you lost it right.

NO!! its on my bed. ugh!

went to my bed and picked it up and show her. see, I'M NOT LYING!!!


am i that bad? people heve been accusing me for all the things that i didn't even do. Money? i dont even effing care about it ok. stop blaming me and stop underestimating me.

"IM NOT A DELICATE LITTLE FLOWER, IM A SUPERWOMAN" -saraaziz-

p/s: kiddo, hope you enjoy blogging since you've got a blog now (:

AM I THAT BAD?

i dont leave people, people leave me. im so sick of it and im getting used to it. does that make sense?

Laughing my heads off

Man da gemuk la.

Saya da lama ta training, baru keluar hospital.

Sakit apa?

......(diam tapi senyum je?)

"sakit cinta ke?"

Haha,.....(senyum tapi dalam hati 'ada makna ke?')

That's what my grandmother asked my dad. I seriously wanted to laugh real bad when i heard her. Luckily i'm nice so i kinda keep that part in my head (:

and now i can't stop laughing