Sunday, December 18, 2011
MORNING
Good morning handsome. Thank you for your text. Even just a tad short, it meant the world to me knowing that you have arrived safely. Please take care. Je t'aime
YOU
My fever keeps coming back. Do you know that I'm lacking in m y studies, that I cant focus at all anymore. Where are you at times like this? I really miss you. For the thousandth times I'm saying that I miss you. What more can I say. I miss those kisses on my forehead, I miss my 'morning sweetheart', I miss hearing your voice everyday, I miss you. Just you. Everything about you. This feels like shit.
PRAY
I can only pray that you'll know what you need in life again. and in between that prayer, I will take just a little space, hoping that it is me that you will need once again amongst others. I am here hurting. Just please. Come back. I'm hurt. I wish you well handsome.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
RANDOM
Talking to the moon. What if the moon is the only thing we have in common now? Are you crying or are you having fun without me? Those words linger in my head like melody on staccato. Short but seems like never ending. What if the moon is the only thing we share now? Are you laying on the grass reminiscing us or are you fast asleep thinking about nothing? Silence is the loudest cry for a lady, you can surely know she's deeply hurt when she starts ignoring you. Flabbergasted? Well. I think that woman is me. Just the way you are? Do you still love me the way that word flowed from your mouth once? I can wait even waiting seems like the hardest thing to do. Do you know how I wish you were here? I woke up feeling dead, like a grenade exploded out of nowhere. How I wish I can be next to you, the tingles that I felt every time you're around make me feel right at this moment, it is all just a dream. I can only thank The Almighty when that memory came on a halt, straight to my face saying "You found me", from the lips of an angel. I will always wait for you. I promised.
DAMN
I may be good in getting myself busy but I'm bad in getting myself busy without thinking of you. Damn.
Friday, December 16, 2011
A DROP IN THE OCEAN
A drop in the ocean,
A change in the weather,
I was praying that you and me might end up together.
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,
But I'm holding you closer than most,
'Cause you are my heaven.
You are my heaven.
A change in the weather,
I was praying that you and me might end up together.
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,
But I'm holding you closer than most,
'Cause you are my heaven.
You are my heaven.
WHY?
You came in a sudden halt. What am i supposed to feel or even think. Do you think everything is easy? I want to understand you, I really do, but now the question is will you do the same? Will you walk away again and leave me in the middle of nowhere? Silence. I loved too much and now pain is the consequence. Im being miserable at my best. Je t'aime
Sunday, December 11, 2011
11/12
I am wishing myself a happy anniversary, because, somehow i just wish you remembered how important yesterday was for me. I wish you well.
Friday, December 9, 2011
MIRACLE
How are you today
I hope you're okay
How I miss hearing your voice
But this is not my choice
I am hurting cant you tell
Well just remember I still love you-
and I wish you well
p/s: checking on my phone hoping for miracle. it stood dead. i miss you
I hope you're okay
How I miss hearing your voice
But this is not my choice
I am hurting cant you tell
Well just remember I still love you-
and I wish you well
p/s: checking on my phone hoping for miracle. it stood dead. i miss you
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
PAIN
"I dont know how i feel. I need some time alone to figure out what i want. I just need to be on my own."
-straight talking, jane green
its a novel but its close to my heart. i wont stop loving him. its him that im confused about.
" I curled up in a big armchair, squeezed into the very corner, hugging my knees very tight and stared at the wall with big drippy tears squeezing themselves out of my eyes and rolling down my cheeks until everything around me felt like a puddle of salt water"....
...." I wanted him to suffer by seeing how much he'd made me suffer. I wanted him to hurt as much as i was hurting"....
...." I didnt cry after i woke up, I think I just felt dead. A bit like life wasnt really worth carrying on with"
-straight talking, jane green
its a novel but its close to my heart. i wont stop loving him. its him that im confused about.
Monday, December 5, 2011
NOW
What more do you want to hear from me?
Is there anything you wish to see?
A joke? A laugh? A smile? A cry?
A scream? A song? A lullaby?
See I know we are not who we were
I live in denial, remember?
So please don't ask me to open my eyes
Don't wanna wake up and realize
The honeymoon's over
That i should better be
mature
I'm sorry I do not know what to say
Do understand I'm breaking, but hey
When you tell me that you are leaving
Don't think I did not see it coming
See, of course I saw we no longer
Having stuff we enjoy together
But can we play along our part
And not parade this change of heart?
Are you really sure
That we're off better
And over?
What more can I say when you wish to leave today
I wont break down and burst
but--
Would you like to have one last breakfast?
-fynn jamal
p/s: my treasure chest is suddenly empty. what am I left with?
Is there anything you wish to see?
A joke? A laugh? A smile? A cry?
A scream? A song? A lullaby?
See I know we are not who we were
I live in denial, remember?
So please don't ask me to open my eyes
Don't wanna wake up and realize
The honeymoon's over
That i should better be
mature
I'm sorry I do not know what to say
Do understand I'm breaking, but hey
When you tell me that you are leaving
Don't think I did not see it coming
See, of course I saw we no longer
Having stuff we enjoy together
But can we play along our part
And not parade this change of heart?
Are you really sure
That we're off better
And over?
What more can I say when you wish to leave today
I wont break down and burst
but--
Would you like to have one last breakfast?
-fynn jamal
p/s: my treasure chest is suddenly empty. what am I left with?
Monday, October 11, 2010
IT STAYS
The wind hums the melody of surreal
In the amidst of reality and denial I stand
For it was hard to explain what is there inside
The wind continues with its wonders of sound
Pieces of old images forming its own pattern
Creating path of differences from one another like a maze with no end
For it was you who suddenly caught up in the tangle of my mind
I intend not to let it flown away by the humming of the wind
Though how hard it gets, how strong it blows, how cold it is
It stays
Ps: VB
In the amidst of reality and denial I stand
For it was hard to explain what is there inside
The wind continues with its wonders of sound
Pieces of old images forming its own pattern
Creating path of differences from one another like a maze with no end
For it was you who suddenly caught up in the tangle of my mind
I intend not to let it flown away by the humming of the wind
Though how hard it gets, how strong it blows, how cold it is
It stays
Ps: VB
SOME MEMORIES LIVE FOREVER
We were in the hallway. I saw the glimpse of him from far. My heart started to beat so fast. I can feel the rush of adrenaline flowing through my body. Flabbergasted!
I started to walk slowly towards him as my class was on the other side of the hallway. As I passed him, our gaze met each others'. Frisson. I continued walking. I felt nausea. It's like there were butterflies in my stomach.
The day went on as usual then. Normal. Nothing exciting happened. But, not until lunch time. I went straight to my locker as soon as the bell for lunch rang. There was something yellow that caught my eye when I reached my locker. It was small 'Post-it!'
" I like your eyes, I like your hair and I like you!"
Sincerely,
- DM -
(Damien Moore)
Oh my goodness! I swore to God I nearly passed out when I read those words. Suddenly, I felt a presence. I turned around there he was standing behind me with the most beautiful smile I ever seen.
" Anna, I've liked you for so long. I've been watching you and I think you feel the same way about me. Right? Please, be mine? " The words felt like a dream to me.
" What took you so long DM? I've liked you since forever! Of course I will say yes. I'm yours! " I managed to say that though only God knows how I felt at that time. I felt like crying of joy.
Like people say, the rest are history. Since that day, we would spend every single time together. He taught and showed me the meaning of love. He was always there for me and I will always be there for him. People would envy us when they see how awesome our relationships are going.
The day passed by and time flies. The Winter Prom was around the corner. Damien promised me that we will go together.
" I will take you to the prom and I'll make sure you are the most beautiful girl there. And for me, I'll be your Prince Charming ", he said to me one day when we were walking back from school. I felt like I'm living in a dream. How could I have gotten someone so perfect? I surely felt grateful to God for giving him to me as a boyfriend.
But I noticed something different about him that day. Even few days before that. He seemed so quiet and his look, it was just wrong. He was quite pale. I asked him a few times whether he was sick or did he do anything until he was so tired. But often he would just smile and say,
" How can I be sick and tired when I have the most beautiful girl on earth with me."
I don't know but I think God gave me an angel on earth to protect me and guide me. He was so nice.
The next day, I woke up quite late than usual so I rushed to school. I didn't have the time to call him first in the morning like we always did. I thought it was okay since I am sure I will see him in school.
When I reached school, he was not there. I was quite worried at that time. As soon as the bell rang for lunch time, I hurried out and I called him. To my surprise, his mum picked up the phone call. I knew there was something wrong. I just knew. I asked her where's Damien and she said that Damien has fever and he was sleeping. I told her mum that I'll come over when school finish but Aunt Lorna said its better for him to rest. She said that she'll ask him to call when he wakes up.
The Winter Prom is tomorrow. I am excited. I waited for him to call me back. Later that night, he called me.
" Anna, I'm sorry. I was asleep when you called me, honey. I'm sorry that I was not with you the whole day ", he said.
" It's okay, DM. It's not your fault, honey. You're sick. I can't wait to go to the prom with you tomorrow. Are you feeling better, love? " I asked him. I was worried about him.
" I'm okay, Don't worry, I promised you that I will take you to the prom and I will stick to my promise. See you tomorrow ", he said. I never thought that it will be our last phone call.
The next day, the day of the Winter Prom. I was so busy the whole day preparing for the prom night. I wore a green silk long with a halter top. It fitted me perfectly. Around 8 p.m, he came to pick me up at my house. My mum took our picture. He was amazing. He wore a tuxedo with a green shirt that matched my dress.
We went to the prom, it was one of the best night. We were having so much fun. But I noticed that he was very pale, I thought because he had fever a day ago. He looked so tired so I asked him to sit down with me for a while. We went and sat.
A few minutes after that, he asked.
" You are the most wonderful thing that happen in my life, Anna. If I'm not here with you anymore, promise me that you will move on ", he said. I was flabbergasted but I said I promise because I love him.
" Will you dance with me? "
And we went to the dance floor. It was a slow song and I was enjoying the moment. He hugged me. Suddenly he fell. I was so shocked. There were blood flowing out from his mouth and nose. But he kept on smiling. And those last word that I still hear until today, " I love you, Anna ". Then, silence. I cried so much for few months.
His mum told me that Damien had a genetic disease which can cause death since he was a child. He gave up on life till he met me. He was afraid to tell me. He loved me so much. Liked i promised him, I moved on for the sake of him.
That was 10 years ago. Now, I have a husband and a child I call, Damien. Well, I guess, some people stay in your memories forever. He was my first and my true love no matter what. He will always be in my heart and my soul. I love you too, Damien. Rest in peace!
by: Fatin Nur Fatehah
I started to walk slowly towards him as my class was on the other side of the hallway. As I passed him, our gaze met each others'. Frisson. I continued walking. I felt nausea. It's like there were butterflies in my stomach.
The day went on as usual then. Normal. Nothing exciting happened. But, not until lunch time. I went straight to my locker as soon as the bell for lunch rang. There was something yellow that caught my eye when I reached my locker. It was small 'Post-it!'
" I like your eyes, I like your hair and I like you!"
Sincerely,
- DM -
(Damien Moore)
Oh my goodness! I swore to God I nearly passed out when I read those words. Suddenly, I felt a presence. I turned around there he was standing behind me with the most beautiful smile I ever seen.
" Anna, I've liked you for so long. I've been watching you and I think you feel the same way about me. Right? Please, be mine? " The words felt like a dream to me.
" What took you so long DM? I've liked you since forever! Of course I will say yes. I'm yours! " I managed to say that though only God knows how I felt at that time. I felt like crying of joy.
Like people say, the rest are history. Since that day, we would spend every single time together. He taught and showed me the meaning of love. He was always there for me and I will always be there for him. People would envy us when they see how awesome our relationships are going.
The day passed by and time flies. The Winter Prom was around the corner. Damien promised me that we will go together.
" I will take you to the prom and I'll make sure you are the most beautiful girl there. And for me, I'll be your Prince Charming ", he said to me one day when we were walking back from school. I felt like I'm living in a dream. How could I have gotten someone so perfect? I surely felt grateful to God for giving him to me as a boyfriend.
But I noticed something different about him that day. Even few days before that. He seemed so quiet and his look, it was just wrong. He was quite pale. I asked him a few times whether he was sick or did he do anything until he was so tired. But often he would just smile and say,
" How can I be sick and tired when I have the most beautiful girl on earth with me."
I don't know but I think God gave me an angel on earth to protect me and guide me. He was so nice.
The next day, I woke up quite late than usual so I rushed to school. I didn't have the time to call him first in the morning like we always did. I thought it was okay since I am sure I will see him in school.
When I reached school, he was not there. I was quite worried at that time. As soon as the bell rang for lunch time, I hurried out and I called him. To my surprise, his mum picked up the phone call. I knew there was something wrong. I just knew. I asked her where's Damien and she said that Damien has fever and he was sleeping. I told her mum that I'll come over when school finish but Aunt Lorna said its better for him to rest. She said that she'll ask him to call when he wakes up.
The Winter Prom is tomorrow. I am excited. I waited for him to call me back. Later that night, he called me.
" Anna, I'm sorry. I was asleep when you called me, honey. I'm sorry that I was not with you the whole day ", he said.
" It's okay, DM. It's not your fault, honey. You're sick. I can't wait to go to the prom with you tomorrow. Are you feeling better, love? " I asked him. I was worried about him.
" I'm okay, Don't worry, I promised you that I will take you to the prom and I will stick to my promise. See you tomorrow ", he said. I never thought that it will be our last phone call.
The next day, the day of the Winter Prom. I was so busy the whole day preparing for the prom night. I wore a green silk long with a halter top. It fitted me perfectly. Around 8 p.m, he came to pick me up at my house. My mum took our picture. He was amazing. He wore a tuxedo with a green shirt that matched my dress.
We went to the prom, it was one of the best night. We were having so much fun. But I noticed that he was very pale, I thought because he had fever a day ago. He looked so tired so I asked him to sit down with me for a while. We went and sat.
A few minutes after that, he asked.
" You are the most wonderful thing that happen in my life, Anna. If I'm not here with you anymore, promise me that you will move on ", he said. I was flabbergasted but I said I promise because I love him.
" Will you dance with me? "
And we went to the dance floor. It was a slow song and I was enjoying the moment. He hugged me. Suddenly he fell. I was so shocked. There were blood flowing out from his mouth and nose. But he kept on smiling. And those last word that I still hear until today, " I love you, Anna ". Then, silence. I cried so much for few months.
His mum told me that Damien had a genetic disease which can cause death since he was a child. He gave up on life till he met me. He was afraid to tell me. He loved me so much. Liked i promised him, I moved on for the sake of him.
That was 10 years ago. Now, I have a husband and a child I call, Damien. Well, I guess, some people stay in your memories forever. He was my first and my true love no matter what. He will always be in my heart and my soul. I love you too, Damien. Rest in peace!
by: Fatin Nur Fatehah
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